Personal

Life problems, usually.

Dealing with Anxiety and Depression

I don’t know what changed, but something did.

Well first, I got sick. It was something that was going around the office. Nasty virus that eventually turned into a sinus infection. Super fun. But then the ear infection started, and after three rounds of different antibiotics, nothing’s changed. I can hardly hear out of my right ear and although I was doing better with the virus, I’ve started getting worse again. My cough has come back, my nose will still be stuffy from time to time. It’s a nightmare. I’m headed to the ENT doctor tomorrow to see what can be done about my ear.

But that leads to my next big issue. Work. I work in a call center, which means I need to be able to hear and speak. Typing has never been a problem, but I need to hear and sometimes these people have us on speakerphone or are just very quiet. I haven’t been able to work. But it gave me time to realize that I just can’t stand working in the public sector anymore. I’ve hit a big bout of depression, akin to my very first time back during my sophomore year of college. No appetite, I sleep most of the day and when I’m awake, I’m still tired and lethargic. I have no interest in anything, don’t want to leave the house, and I’ve had at least one bad anxiety attack over the whole issue.

It’s not that I don’t want to work. Sure, I can be damned lazy when I want to be, but it’s not just that. Working in the public sector, especially retail and ESPECIALLY sales, makes me anxious and I’m so unhappy. There’s a level of unhappiness I can deal with in my job, but I dread going into work every day. Sure, I have friends there, but when you work in a call center, you hardly see them. I’m in ¬†my own little world for 10+ hours with no access to fun websites (all I ask is for Pinterest, really) and a book. That’s it. And trust me, I love reading, but not when I can hardly finish a page without another call coming in. Quite frustrating.

I want to write and do something that actually makes me happy. I need creativity, I need a freeflow environment. And without it, it’s stifling. So although Disney wasn’t super creative and I was dealing with people (sometimes very NASTY people), it did give me a bit of creativity and being surrounded by such magic helped keep me going every day. Sure, there were plenty of days that I didn’t want to work, but my crew was amazing and we all supported each other and had so much fun on our little boat ride. Star Tours I don’t miss as much (too hot, too crowded) but Living with the Land… I’d go back in a heartbeat. Though trust me, I don’t miss Florida ONE BIT.

Feeling like this for the past week is not only inherintly exhausting, but has drained me even further. I guess I didn’t even wake up to my alarm or Sean waking me up this morning. I got plenty of sleep, but mentally I’m so drained that my body is too.

I know people have it worse than me. Of course. And they’d love to have my job. Sure. But in my unique situation, I don’t know how much longer I can do this. Every time I’ve changed jobs, I’ve told myself I would never do retail, and I definitely never thought I’d do sales. But here I am, at the bottom of my personal barrel, trying to find a way out.

So in short, depression and anxiety suck. I’m depressed because I can’t stand my job and I’m anxious because money is a constant worry for us. So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. And I’m trying to find the best solution for me and for Sean, but it’s tough. The idea of moving back to Virginia near/with my parents has crossed both our minds, as has moving back to Florida so at least I can be close to Disney. I don’t think either are a proper solution, though I’ve entertained both ideas.

Right now it’s time to just get my mental health in order and then work from there. It might not happen tomorrow or next week or next month, but I’ll find something I love to do that can keep us afloat. And hopefully he’ll find a job that works better for him as well. Call center life doesn’t suit us.

katiesig

Being an Adult

It’s been fun moving to Colorado, dealing with lower income for a while, higher cost of living, etc. But at the same time, it’s been fun. We both love it here. We have some great friends, lots of fun in our town. Plus I just got a full time job in sales at the same company Sean works for, so it’s looking up.

But I thought I’d fill you all in on what’s happened since then, including pictures.

The drive out to Colorado was long, but not terrible. Two people, lots of stuff, and two cats in one cab was tight, but not uncomfortable, especially since Binx hid under the seats the entire time. Buddy, however, quite enjoyed the view.

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Yes, we shaved him and he looked like an old man. Quite funny.

Kansas was the worst. Eight hours of nothing but flat land and windmills, which were cool but got old after a while.

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The desolate barren wasteland of Kansas.

As you all saw in my last post, we are all moved in and actually have a bed frame now, so our bed isn’t on the floor. Much more comfortable.

About two months ago was Denver Comiccon, the first convention I’ve ever been too, and boy was it awesome! Though I do wish we had done the full weekend instead of one day, it was so awesome! Lots of vendors, artists, celebrities. And, my highlight of the entire thing…

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Stan Lee’s autograph on his graphic autobiography.

Meeting Stan Lee was awesome! Though it was only for a few seconds, watching him interact with journalists, kids, saying “Excelsior” and everything… definitely worth it. I’m so glad I got to meet him and get his autograph before he passes away.

But about a month ago, I got a text from my roommates saying that Sean was in the hospital. Now, he’s had really bad chest/stomach pain for a while, and we had gone to the ER four times total in Florida, where they did jack shit for him except manage his pain, never getting to the root of the problem. I got there maybe an hour and a half after he had been admitted, and they had already done scans, bloodwork, etc. Already, Colorado hospitals had impressed me with how quickly they work. They tell us it’s pancreatitis, and later discover large gallstones and have his gallbladder removed. He was in the hospital for about a week.

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The sloth is Steve, someone to comfort him when I wasn’t around.

He’s doing much better now, with an actual appetite. He has four scars on his stomach that will hurt every so often, but he’s come a long way since his hospital stay. Thank you to everyone who has helped us out, both emotionally and financially, in such tough times.

This will be my last week working for the Boys and Girls Club, which kinda sucks and kinda doesn’t. The kids are getting antsy and rowdy now that summer’s ending, and it’s draining. But at the same time, some of those kids are so cool that I’m gonna miss seeing them every day. Especially my D&D boys. They definitely helped keep me sane when I was having rough days.

If you’d like to keep up with my life, go ahead and add me on Snapchat, send me pics or messages.

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katiesig

Adult Life Begins

Well, my future has changed yet again.

I no longer work for the Walt Disney World Resort. Today I turned in my blue ID and officially resigned. Reason? I start a full time job with Verizon on Monday. I was offered the job officially a few days ago and I’m so ready! This position means that I get benefits, better pay, lots of perks, etc. The big kicker was getting my own health insurance. I’m turning 24 this year and I really need to get my life together, which means getting out there on my own. So this is a big step for me.

I’m going to miss Disney a lot, but honestly, I was getting a bit burnt out from it all. Guests are so rude and sometimes the hours are just ridiculous. I do plan on getting an annual pass as soon as I can, probably by my second or third paycheck, that way I can still go to the parks whenever I want. But I’ll definitely miss the cast member holiday discount. Oh well. Time to be an adult, I guess.

katiesig

The Long Road Ahead

So much has happened in the last few months.

During my DCP, I was working at Living With the Land, a small boat ride in EPCOT right next to Soarin’ (a ride which I now both hate and love thanks to the constant questions regarding said ride). I love the people I worked with there and I’m gonna miss them when I finally move in two weeks.

Where am I going, you ask? Star Tours! I am officially a part time employee of Walt Disney World Resort and am going to be working the most awesome galactic tour in Disney’s Hollywood Studios. I start training on the 14th of June and couldn’t be any more excited. My inner geek is flippin’ out!

But I’m also moving physically. I have an apartment in Clermont that I’m moving into tomorrow with a wonderful girl named Meghan. We each get our own room and bathroom, so it’s much nicer than my stint at Vista, which ended up being one of the worst apartment experiences I’ve had, short of my freshman year of college.

Other big changes have happened in my life. Jon and I are no longer dating. We’re still very good friends and he’s flying down tomorrow night to start his own college program. I’m going to help him as best I can, but it doesn’t seem like our future is going to intertwine like we thought it would. But who knows what the future holds? Right now, I’m focusing on finding a second part-time job to help pay for rent and bills (and stupid student loans), working towards losing weight and toning up because I’m giving myself one year to get where I want to be physically so I can go for my personal trainer certification around this time 2016. After that, I’ll be able to move wherever I want to, preferably somewhere colder, so I can start planning for the future.

I’ll try and keep this more updated. It’s just been a very hectic year so far.

katiesig

Back at Disney

Sorry for the ridiculous hiatus. I was super busy with finishing up college (I’m officially graduated!) and moving down to Disney for my second Disney College Program. I’m very excited for this time around. I’m going to be working Attractions in EPCOT Future World West. No idea what ride(s) yet, but I’ll find out on Tuesday. I have Traditions, our introduction to the Disney company, on Friday, which means I’ll get my ID that day so I can get into the parks for free. I can’t wait!

This time around I’m living in Vista Way, the infamous apartment complex. If you’ve seen Sw00zie’s videos “Confessions of a Disney Employee”, you’ll recognize it. It’s not nearly as nice as Patterson, but I love my roomies and I wouldn’t switch for the world. They’re all wonderful girls and I’m super excited for what this semester is going to bring. We do have one random girl coming in tomorrow, we think, since our last roomie bailed last minute without telling us. So we’re anxious about who she’s going to be.

Jon was with me for a month visiting for Christmas break. It was so nice to see him again. I missed him so much. Sadly he’s already back in Puerto Rico for his last semester of college and I miss him dearly, but we both know this is hopefully the last time we’ll have to spend this long apart ever again. Plus, once he’s done, he should be coming up to Orlando for his own Disney College Program. It was a tearful farewell, but we’re doing alright. Having one semester apart under our belts makes this a bit easier.

I’ll update once there’s more to update on, like which ride I’ll be working at and anything else. Have a magical day!

katiesig

You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile

I was recently approached about doing a piece about what the most marketable and and valuable skill one can have when diving headfirst into the real world, or as I like to call it, lack of adult supervision.

And y’know, I had to think about that one. Because there are a lot of those skills you can buy to get better at and there are some that you either have or you don’t. Everyone’s different. But there was one that stood out that absolutely everyone can do and was one of the best pieces of advice I read about.

Back in 2011 when I was applying to do my first internship at Walt Disney World for the Disney College Program, I scoured the internet looking for tips for the phone interview, questions that would help me prepare, anything I could get my hands on that would secure my position working for the most magical place on earth. There was one tip that stood out and what I tell everyone applying to Disney.

Smile.

It seems so simple and so easy, right? But you’d be surprised how often I see people going into job interviews, whether they’re in person or even on the phone, who look so bored with life. Even over the phone, a smile translates. It lightens your voice and makes you sound pleasant. When I interviewed for a recent job, I asked what my liklihood of getting hired was. The manager looked at me and told me he had made his decision when he first met me, when I first went in to ask about applying. He says my smile and personality lit up the room. And all I did was keep a smile on my face.

Working at Disney definitely helped, I’ll tell you that. Working there, no matter how many rude guests you come across, it’s hard to be without a smile for more than a few minutes in such a magical place. But you can create that wonderful atmosphere by smiling. It really is contagious!

You may not have all the necessary skills they ask for or be the person they’re looking for, but a company will always want someone personable who is willing to go the extra mile over those who might be qualified but look like they’d rather be somewhere else.

So always remember to smile, to let your personality shine through. Everything else will fall into place.

If you’d like to get some extra experience along the way, Webucator is¬†offering continual self-paced free Microsoft training courses at this link. I highly encourage everyone to take a look. Microsoft is kind of a big deal nowadays and it never hurts to have extra skills to put on a resume! Also be sure to check out Webucator on Twitter: @webucator

Good luck everyone in job hunting! And have a magical day!

katiesig

Going Back to Disney

It’s official. I’m going back to Disney in January!

I accepted the position a few days ago. While Jon spends his last semester in Puerto Rico, I’ll be working in the most magical place on earth in Attractions, which I’m super excited about. I’m a bit apprehensive. Last time I went with my ex and a few other friends, plus I met my bestest friend ever, Megan. This time I’m going alone and it unnerves me a bit. But I have to keep my head up because I’ve missed Disney so much and it could open doors for a possible career. When I’m down there I’m going to ask about how to get my foot in the door for Disney Hyperion. You know, the same company that publishes Percy Jackson? Yeah, them.

In the meantime, I’ve come down with a nasty case of bronchitis. And it sucks. Thanks to the addition of asthma, I’m having a hard time breathing and it’s making me constantly dizzy and woozy. So all I’m good for right now is to sit down, watch FaceOff, write some, and maybe read a bit later. Basically, I’m a couch potato. A sexy couch potato!

katiesig