Going Back to Disney

It’s official. I’m going back to Disney in January!

I accepted the position a few days ago. While Jon spends his last semester in Puerto Rico, I’ll be working in the most magical place on earth in Attractions, which I’m super excited about. I’m a bit apprehensive. Last time I went with my ex and a few other friends, plus I met my bestest friend ever, Megan. This time I’m going alone and it unnerves me a bit. But I have to keep my head up because I’ve missed Disney so much and it could open doors for a possible career. When I’m down there I’m going to ask about how to get my foot in the door for Disney Hyperion. You know, the same company that publishes Percy Jackson? Yeah, them.

In the meantime, I’ve come down with a nasty case of bronchitis. And it sucks. Thanks to the addition of asthma, I’m having a hard time breathing and it’s making me constantly dizzy and woozy. So all I’m good for right now is to sit down, watch FaceOff, write some, and maybe read a bit later. Basically, I’m a couch potato. A sexy couch potato!


Dealing with Monsters

Have you ever felt so down that you didn’t want to get up in the morning? Or have you ever reacted to something that was quite meaningless but it seemed like your world was crashing down? I have.

For at least the last ten years I’ve been dealing with one hell of a scary monster: depression. It’s the first time I’ve come out publicly and said that I carry it around with me and lately, I’ve been feeling its effects more and more.

I won’t go into details of when I first noticed it or all the major times it has affected my life, but I realized last night just how far reaching its tendrils were. I will react to something that is mildly inconvenient as if it is earth-shattering. I get overly emotional at the little things and have a hard time keeping it contained in public. It’s not the overwhelming sadness or apathy that gets me. It’s the roller coaster of emotions that nearly take over my body and force me to rant and rave, cry my eyes out and act like the world is against me. And sometimes I really think this damn university is out to get me, but that’s a blog post for another day.

When Robin Williams died, I was definitely sad, but part of me was at least a tiny bit glad that from his death the door opened for the world to finally start talking about depression, about how it can affect anyone at any time. But of course different tragedies struck and people forgot about the dialogue they had started about depression and that it is never the victims fault.

People with depression carry a monster on their back. Some monsters are small and keep to themselves most of the time, but others are large and heavy, ruining everything we hold dear. Sometimes people with depression can’t eat, can’t sleep, and just can’t get out and do or enjoy the things in life that they once loved or that need to be done. It’s hard.

For those of you reading this who deal with depression, just know that there are so many resources out there to help you get through this. Talk to friends or a therapist, seek help. You may not want to, but connecting with at least one person can help tremendously. Use your support system to your advantage and don’t be ashamed of the monster on your back. You aren’t the only one.

And to those of you who do not deal with depression, never ever blame the person who has it. A lot of the time, it’s almost impossible to control. Imagine a weight sitting on your chest all the time. One you’re in bed or sitting down, that weight makes it impossible to get back up again. That weight makes you feel like all you should do is sit there for eternity until someone or something lifts that weight off and lets you breathe again. It is never the victim’s fault. Be there for them and let them know that if they ever need to talk, that you’re there for them. Never pressure them to get out of the house or do anything. And sometimes, a silent companion is all they need to get through another day. So just be a warm and welcoming presence in their life and when they can finally put that monster back under the bed for a while, they’ll thank you for being so compassionate and understanding.

If anyone out there has any questions or concerns, please feel free to contact me. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here for you.

And if you’re thinking about taking your own life, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Get help as soon as possible because there are so many people who love you who don’t want to lose you.

I’ll leave you with this fantastic video by a man named Sky Williams who sums up depression perfectly.


What to do with an English Degree?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself for about a month now as the absolute panic of graduation sets in. I’m done with college in December and the idea of having to find a real, full-time job is terrifying. And with an English degree, what the hell do I do?

Surprisingly, there are more options than I thought. Copywriting, editing, technical writing, publicity, etc. I mean sure, I want to continue writing and the pipe dream is to become a best selling author, but let’s be real here. That’s probably never going to happen. So what do I do instead?

Well, lately I’ve been looking for jobs working with books, namely working in libraries or publishing houses. It’d be really nice and I love books anyways. Win-win! So that’s what I’m working on right now. Fingers crossed.

Other than that, classes. Lots and lots of time spent in this university, in the same building, on the same plush chairs in the lounge area waiting the average three hours between classes. Yeah, this semester is turning out to be a real thriller. </sarcasm>

I recently signed up for fiverr.com at the advice of a lovely redditor knowing that I’m strapped for cash. There I can actually sell my services as a creative writer and get paid, you guessed it, a fiver ($5 for you uncultured swine). If you’d like to request a story (you know you all do), you can find my profile here. Have fun.

If anyone out there just happening to read this works for some sort of book-related industry and totally wants to offer me a job, just leave a comment. A little optimism never hurt, right?


We Ride Together

I’ve been back for a little over a week now. So much has happened this summer. So much.

The summer went relatively well. I ran the canteen which was amazingly fun and I loved it. It gave me a chance to have moments of peace and time to grade reports and just be calm, which was very much appreciated. I loved staff this year and grew really close with my teaching partner, Meggie. For the first time in quite a while, I actually made a close friend in real life and not on the internet.

I’ve gone through some tough times, too. Nothing I care to share with the public, but I’ve lost a close friend and have been hitting hard times personally. Luckily, music (folk metal, namely Turisas) have been getting me through it as well as a newfound belief.

I have turned heathen. Thanks to my friend David, I am now an Asatruar, a follower of the Norse religion. It’s new and sometimes scary and weird, but I’ve never felt more at ease and sure of my path. Every day I learn more and more and I’m slowly meeting people around the area who share the same beliefs and can help me in my journey. I love it.

School starts up in just a few days. It will be my last semester and I’m utterly nervous and excited at the same time. Here’s to hoping it goes well and I graduate in December.



Leaving for Camp

In less than four days, Jon and I will make the two and a half hour trek to the Appalachians, outside a small town called Vesuvius, VA where we will spend the next two and a half months working at the most wonderful place.

Nature Camp was a second home to me for six years before I started college and could no longer go back. Last summer I was lucky enough to land a job working as a counselor there and had a blast, learning so much about nature, myself, and how to work with kids. I’m really glad that Jon will have the same opportunity.

I won’t put here what I’ll be teaching this summer, but I will say that I’m very excited for my role. And for once, I’m packed early and have severly limited my clothes. So there’s also that.

I might be able to make an update after I get to camp, but it probably won’t be for a while. Besides, this summer will be spent not only working, but working on my story/novel, preparing for my final semester in college, and generally enjoying my summer. Social media will take a back seat for me.

If anyone wants to really get a hold of me, emails will be the best.


I’m Going Home

I fly home in three days. That’s amazing to me. I’m really excited yet I’m also apprehensive and I have this weird, mixed feeling about leaving the island for good. I don’t think it’s officially sunk in that I’m not coming back, not for a long time, maybe not ever. I have no idea.

Jon will be coming with me since he also got a job at Nature Camp, so at least I’ll have company for those flights. Our first stop is in Atlanta before we grab a connecting flight to Dulles in D.C. But luckily there are no massive layovers this time. About an hour and half at most.

On another note, I hate moving. So much to pack, we have to close the electric account and internet one (both of which are a pain to do), and move whatever Jon’s going to keep to his apartment tomorrow. It’s a lot to do in a short amount of time. Hopefully I won’t be doing this much overseas moving again for a very long time.

I’ll update again once we’re back in Virginia.


The Start of Something Beautiful

Spring break was an interesting thing for me. I was craving an oldfashioned roleplay, like what I used to do when I was younger. Thankfully, reddit provided and I’ve found some wonderful friends and started an epic roleplay with my new friend Sean. So epic, in fact, that’s it’s spurned me to write a novel about it. I’m seriously proud of this thing and excited to flesh it out and bring it to life.

I’ve spent the last week or so working on it, in fact. I’ve now come up with a fairly decent looking map and started to delve into the history, politics, geography, etc. of this particular world. The RP is providing two of the main characters so the plot will just have to hang on for a while because it could take weeks to get to a point where I feel I can write the novel and not catch up.

I don’t really wanna give out spoilers, but I’m hoping that this won’t be the only novel set in this realm or with some of these characters. And I’m very excited to try my hand at high fantasy. I never had this much gumption on creating a world and working so hard to perfect it. When I reach certain milestones, like the official start of the novel, certain words limits, an interesting factoid, etc. I’ll update this blog with those tidbits, but for now it’ll be secret because I’m paranoid of other people stealing my ideas.

I’ve asked my absolutely wonderful and beautiful bestie Megan to help me make the map something beautiful and not just a pencil scribble on a piece of paper, so thank you so much love. I don’t know what I’d do without you.

Also thank you to Sean for being one of the best RP partners I’ve ever had and helping me so much with this story and listening when I want to bitch about how much it sucks to figure out the geography of a fictional continent.

And finally, I want to give the biggest amount of thanks and love to Jon for dealing with the minor neglect while I spend entire days holed up in our bedroom RPing and world building. I love you more than you know and I appreciate everything you do for me.


P.S. I have yet to come up with a name for my continent.